Most of us have plans and goals that far exceed our realities and it can be a painful feeling to know that you’re selling yourself short. Despite this though, many of us are too afraid or too unsure to take the necessary next steps. It never feels like the ‘right time’ it never seems like the ‘responsible’ thing to do and we always feel like we’re inviting failure. In short, we are held back by fear. So the question is: how can you overcome those fears?
The answer might just be something called ‘fear setting’. Read on and we’ll look at what this means and how it could help you.
The general idea behind fear setting is that you’re going to more clearly define what your fears are and thus start coming up with more effective ways to overcome them.
For many of us, our fears are very much abstract and general, rather than being concrete and specific. But when you take the time to identify the true nature of those fears, they can often end up losing their power over you.
Let’s say that you want to start your own business. You might have the vague but undefined fears that
- Your business will fail and people will think less of you
- Your partner will think what you’re doing is foolish and judge you
- You’d have to leave your job and you might not be able to get a job back if things don’t work out
- You’d make yourself unemployable by creating a gap on your CV
- You’d have to take out a big loan, which would result in unending crippling debt
“Instead of worrying about what people say of you, why not spend time trying to accomplish something they will admire.” Dale Carnegie
Are these legitimate fears?
These all seem like legitimate fears. But now you’re going to actually write those fears down and thereby make yourself fully aware of what they are. Once you’ve done this, you can then start to go through them one by one and address how realistic each fear is, what you would do if it actually came true and how you could prevent it from happening.
How realistic these fears are?
“Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real.” Unknown
Let’s take them one by one:
Your business will fail and people will think less of you
- Most people would in fact be much more likely to think more of you for having tried something exciting
- You don’t have to tell anyone
- Who cares
Your partner will think what you’re doing is foolish and judge you
- Ask them
- They will probably think what you’re doing is inspiring and they should support you
- Especially if you can show them how you’re going to make it work
You’d have to leave your job and you might not be able to get a job back if things don’t work out
- You could run your business in the evenings or weekends and thus keep your job
- You could go part time and run your business at the same time
- You could take a sabbatical to try launching your business
You’d make yourself unemployable by creating a gap on your CV
- Most companies will overlook that, in fact it will likely show gumption and savvy
- Your old job will likely take you back
- Worst case scenario, you take a lower paid job
You’d have to take out a big loan, which would result in unending crippling debt
- You can look for an investor
- Or help from a business partner
- Or funding through Kickstarter
Can you see that there is nothing to fear? Fear setting shows us that the only thing to fear, is fear itself!
“Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears.”
“Ignorance is the parent of fear.”